A Bit of a Smirk and Also grateful for flexibility

 This morning I found out that they are not replacing me for my job despite the fact I gave them literally three weeks notice.  It gets frustrating when I feel like I do the majority of the work and I hard get credit.  So guess what.  I am glad you get to see what happens when someone is there and the ship does not run because you filled the gaps.  

Also yesterday tech was not working.  I tried to fix stuff and instead of being praised for efficency I had to do a series of emails and told I needed to do that do it a certain way.

Also I was dinged for some really stupid stuff on a doc.  It was like they were looking for something.

And stating my feelings is not going to work.  They say stuff is animous but I noticed they discussed stuff I had stated either in a survey or stuff that happened at work.  So when I do any kind of surveys as far as I am concerned it is ALL FINE>

If I just make satifactory I will be satisfied.  After this year I will be off the hook for a few so I will just make it with whatever.  

I know I am doing the best I can.  I can't control others but I can pray about how to handle M with the changes in his behavior, D with diranged gradma, R with spitting and all the rest adventures. 

Looking into my soul.....

Yesterday I  had an interesting experience.  I had started the day before with a long day at work.  It was good except super long and I was thankful to get ahead of some stuff at work.  I talked with my friend who is going through several challenges that make most soap operas look boring compared to the life she had been living in the last few months. I also think about my friend who has kids from both of his marriages and despite the challenges of being a father to two families still finds time to be a good person and run.   Then I went to the fitness center the morning before and saw all the people waiting and getting disgusted that the center did not open early like it generally did on Wednesday.  Then I went into work and my aide had some ideas to make the classroom more creative.  Instead of thinking through how to make it more workable it ended up making the kids crazy.  That was okay because I knew he needed to learn and I could pick up the slack.   Last of all I went into my friend's office and she asked me how I was doing with Mike's  medical stuff.  She told me she wanted hold my hand and tell me it was okay.  After playing the tough gal through it all I just teared up.  I look at life so differently after Mike has had the stroke.  Things that bothered me before don't anymore and I look at others and I say to myself why are you so stressed about this or that.   I realize I am blessed with a healthy body, mind and spirit.  And sometimes it is okay to just stop a moment, grieve cry and move on.  Thanks Petrina for obeying the Lord and really asking me if I was okay and for looking into my soul....


Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
John 16:33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Passive Agressiveness 101

Sometimes you can just get ticked off.  I know there are reasons why people do what they do but it does not make life easy. 

For instance my husband and I have been part of this group at church.  For the last year I have hated going.  I could not put my finger really on it but I hated going.  I felt like they were out to find my weaknesses and that there were things that were not healthy emotionally.  Finally last December I decided to finally keep my mouth shut and things got really weird.  Even for my hubby and he is pretty tolerant of most things.  I remember laying in bed  after the last meeting and he decided to just quit.  We are going to a different group next year and when we decided the group leader had to give us his blessing for it.  Gotta love that.

Then I had been faithfully blogging on a fitness site for a while and I felt I was really making an impact in people's lives until someone decided to go from daily to a continuous blog.  So I decided if my energies were not appreciated I would just back off. 


Today I also tried to be nice to someone who is basically a jerk.  It killed me talking to them and slam I felt like I was being punched out or something. 

So I am backing off.  Is it alright to want justice and not get bitter about it.  I don't want to see people fail but sometimes I just want resolution.  Is that okay?

I am truly a blessed person.  I like my life.  I like the fact when friends gravely disappoint me that someone else goes to take their place.  I am thankful for my husband, my Lord and my family.  When is it alright though to say enough is enough.  I did today and it feels pretty good.

Welcome to my blog!

I have decided to take my blog off a popular site and post here when I need to rant, rejoice and just talk about running.  So many crazy things have happened in the past year good and bad that I feel the need to talk about it but not neccesarilly need to have everyone know about it. 

My name is Chris and I am 44 years old.  Most people think I am a lot younger and that is good.  I am a teacher and I love my job.

Sometimes though I think people can just really tick you off.  And I can't stand phonies. 

So I am writing when I have something awesome to tell you, something about my running, and also went I just need to vent!